Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Zombies Make Everything Better

Since November I have been on a shambling zombie kick. This is all because of the awesomeness that is Left 4 Dead. Zombies might be the one thing that gets me to read Jane Austin. See someone took Pride and Prejudice, the whole thing, and then added extra scenes and chapters to include the living dead. It sounds crazy but you can't make this stuff up. Check out Pride and Prejudice and Zombies for yourself. I am sure for a true literature lover this idea is heresy, but I like the idea of adding Zombies to the classics. In fact I have five other books that I think would really benefit from this treatment.

5. Little Women
I don't know anything about this book, other than that if you are a female there is like a 33% chance that reading this book becomes a defining moment in your life (yeah, I made that up). All I do know, is the only way I am ever reading it is if there are Zombies in it.

4. Great Expectations
I am fairly sure that forcing high schoolers to read this steaming pile of literary crap violates one of the rights guaranteed by the UN Declaration of Human Rights. About the only thing that could redeem this work is if Miss Haversham is a Zombie and eats Pip's brain.

3. Lord of the Flies
Ok the rest of these are much more serious suggestions, where adding Zombies could actually create an interesting story or augment what is already there. Any serious piece of Zombie story telling will investigate how humans fall apart when civilization falls apart. Heck this is the entire premise of the excellent Walking Dead. Incidentally, this is also the major theme of Lord of the Flies. The kids tear themselves up as it is, so it would be interesting if adding Zombies would further the anarchy or be able to bind the boys together for a common good.

2. All Quiet on the Western Front
This books already has an oppressive air of hopelessness. Adding Zombies would just change the war from a pointless fight for national pride to a desperate and hopeless fight for the very struggle of humanity.

1. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Adding Zombies to this one would just be flat out awesome. Huck is already running away, so adding the undead would give him further reason for his travels. The Living Dead would add a sense of dread to his surreal adventures on the Mississippi.


Post a Comment

<< Home